Dreams
I dream of great big things. I have amazing goals and aspirations, things so far from reach. I want to do wonderful things, good things, make a difference, be a superstar. And then I have reality. Bills, and pay that never is enough to stretch and meet the demands of our budget. There is so much to do: Financial Management homework, dinner to make, groceries to buy, laundry to fold, and of course the day job to attend 8 plus hours every day, vacation to use up on volunteer work, silly miscommunications over things that in the end don’t matter, my heart gets tied up in things and then its broken. I put too much passion into life and then I wake up hurt, and heartsick. I feel empty ready to give up, ready to throw in the towel, to say I am done trying to do good. Maybe I should just be a number, bland, do my allotted job with out an opinion without the desire to better, make good. Maybe I try to hard, over think, long for more, strive too hard. Maybe I need to be just content and satisfied with what is. But I am not. I have big dreams, huge goals, aspirations, and most of all I have PASSION spilling out of me.
Elayna, sometimes I envy you because it seems like you’re getting more done than I am! But I know exactly where you are coming from and what it feels like. I wish we could focus on the passion and not the mundane, which seems to get in the way of getting things done (but is unfortunately necessary…) By the way, is that castle your original artwork?
You are not alone. Funny, I have the same exact complaints & passions as you. Its nice to hear someone voice them to let everyone else know we are all in the same boat although, you always seem to get more accomplished than I do. I am starting to think I don’t know how to manage my time better. I will have to work on that.
Hi Sister,
Hang in there. What you do with passion will always serve your future–what you do just because is what you have to do to make the now work. Remember that nothing is wasted no matter how crazy it seems at the moment. Life is a journey…
You’re unbelieveably talented, strong and driven like few people in the world–and I believe you’re going BIG places. Just be patient–pay those crazy dues we all have to pay with a smile, and the world is your oyster.
I love you!
E