Comments on: Taking Inventory http://elaynaalexandra.com/2009/08/26/taking-inventory/ WordPress at Utopian.net Tue, 07 Sep 2010 04:10:39 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Dominique Ridley http://elaynaalexandra.com/2009/08/26/taking-inventory/comment-page-1/#comment-136 Dominique Ridley Thu, 27 Aug 2009 05:28:27 +0000 http://elaynaalexandra.com/?p=1093#comment-136 Oh, this brought tears to my eyes. I have felt this same way my whole life about the school, the confidence, the happiness. I don't know what the answer is. I am back in school studying a subject that engages and excites me full time (finally!!) and I actually find it easier. I work odd jobs when I have the time, and one day a week at the farm. We are struggling mightily financially, and I heartily dislike where we live, but it is a temporary means to an end. I have worked jobs I dislike or have been mistreated in for so long, it is nice to have a break from that. My life is far from perfect. It is a constant struggle, and I too wonder why I seem to struggle harder than so many of my high school friends for happiness, friendships, success. I feel most sad that I have allowed such wonderful friendships to fall by the wayside due to my personal struggles. I am sad I don't have those lifetime connections and friendships that so many of my high school friends seem to have maintained with each other. I so often feel "on the outside looking in". I can only assume that the things I have been through, the things you have been through, serve to temper us into a thing of strength and beauty. All I can say is that finding something I love to do, that makes me feel whole and at peace has made all the difference. The trade off is knowing that I will most likely be making a living, not building wealth ever. I am ok with that. I have to follow my dreams, my calling, so to speak, (and there is more than one for me, none of them involve making good money) or I will forever be dissatisfied. BIG hugs!! Dominique Oh, this brought tears to my eyes. I have felt this same way my whole life about the school, the confidence, the happiness. I don’t know what the answer is. I am back in school studying a subject that engages and excites me full time (finally!!) and I actually find it easier. I work odd jobs when I have the time, and one day a week at the farm. We are struggling mightily financially, and I heartily dislike where we live, but it is a temporary means to an end. I have worked jobs I dislike or have been mistreated in for so long, it is nice to have a break from that. My life is far from perfect. It is a constant struggle, and I too wonder why I seem to struggle harder than so many of my high school friends for happiness, friendships, success. I feel most sad that I have allowed such wonderful friendships to fall by the wayside due to my personal struggles. I am sad I don’t have those lifetime connections and friendships that so many of my high school friends seem to have maintained with each other. I so often feel “on the outside looking in”.
I can only assume that the things I have been through, the things you have been through, serve to temper us into a thing of strength and beauty. All I can say is that finding something I love to do, that makes me feel whole and at peace has made all the difference. The trade off is knowing that I will most likely be making a living, not building wealth ever. I am ok with that. I have to follow my dreams, my calling, so to speak, (and there is more than one for me, none of them involve making good money) or I will forever be dissatisfied.

BIG hugs!!

Dominique

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