I spoke to my sister last night. These days with each of our own very busy lives and some 3000 plus miles between us we don’t get to talk to each other much let alone see each other. Last time I saw her was when my nephew was less then 6 months old, she met us in New York city for a crazy lunch and quick tour or a museum there, it was a whirlwind 3 hour visit and that was 2005. Anyway she was saying to me, after I said to her first that she was neglecting posting on her, that I was crappy at updating my notebook. So the conclusion was that we were both busy and bad at posting and probably should make more of an effort.
It has been hard for me to post lately, because honestly I haven’t been making art like I would like and I feel guilty. I feel that this notebook is for information about my creative process not what I ate today for lunch, which by the was some rather tasty organic spinach and cheese ravioli and a organic herb salad with avocado. I feel compelled to write something of value and of deep thought, and yet mostly it ends up being superfluous and filled with spelling errors and run-ons.
It is just that there are so many ideas, so many projects in their infancy and it is all so exciting and terribly scary and so incredibly unstable I just don’t want to jinx any of it right now. I want for everything to work out somehow. In other words I would like to have my cake and eat it to. I would like to have the incredible opportunities that exist come to fruitation. There are so many adventures to take, so many great pieces of art to create, so much to learn, so much to teach, so many wonderful things to do, and I feel like I am not doing enough. I get tired and warn thin by the daily grind, and I forget about all these things that feed my soul. These things that get my heart being quickly, my mind racing in loops, my palms sweaty. I need to remember these things, the things that make life worthwhile, that make getting up in the morning fun, the things that makes the day spin by.
I am really hoping that this summer will bring the time, concentration and motivation to accomplish some of the things that keeps my mind racing, and my heart beating fast.