I am grateful for re-do’s in cooking, painting, writing and well just in life in general. I love second chances!

I am a little late for my friday find! However I actually wrote this post a few days ago. So here is a little bit about what I am thinking. I signed up for TUTs a while back when the amazing Penelope talked about it. I really just did it for fun, I thought what the heck, right, it can’t hurt. I did it with my work e-mail account and I am so glad I did. Each morning among the pile of other e-mails and the crap of the morning I get to read something inspiring that is focused on just me! Signing up for this was just another step in reconnecting with my spiritual self and my beliefs. After my father died I lost a lot of spiritual connection because he had always been the guide post for this. Yoga was my first step, while not religious, yoga allows me the space for my thoughts to become breath in and out and it changes you and opens you to the world in a different way. I have also been playing around with positive affirmations and prayer. Some of the messages from TUTs are more touching then others and this mornings was one that was just perfect. Feeling totally discourage and out of sync, everything was spiraling in the wrong direction, and then I read this:

 Ask, Elayna. Ask for whatever you want.

 Ask for help. Ask for clarity. Ask for insight.

 We’re always there. You’re always answered. 10,000 Strong to do your will.

 OK?  – The Universe

 I should add that I don’t just read these quickly, I really read them deeply, pausing trying to believe and trust. Reading about the writer of these is inspiring as well!  

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. Tough times are coming to so many those that are close to me, and those that I don’t know, and these times make me think a lot. I think a lot about what we need to live and I think about worst case scenarios, not it the doomsday sort of way but: the what if, what would I do, sort of way. I was reading Body and Soul magazine and they talked about your financial fire escape plan. It was an interesting article and corresponds well with what I do. I know how to get through hard times because I have, and am, and I am sure it may happen again. However, I also want to learn to go through difficult times more gracefully. I know how to cut back to the minimal expenses, to hunker down and make things work. That isn’t to say I don’t enjoy extravagances and that I don’t save for big purchases because I do and because of that I own some nice things. However the last few years have taught me in yet another way to appreciate things in a different way and to know very deeply that the only thing that really matters is the earth, and the living things on it. The rest: cell phones, cameras, computers, paint, fancy china, fluffily towels, Egyptian cotton sheets, silk dresses, leather shoes…these things are nice but that’s all, they aren’t needed to live. Life takes a tremendous about of trust, trust in, The Universe. Its not that I believe I have no influence on my life or no responsibility because I don’t not for a minute, but I also have a huge amount of trust in the web of The Universe and I believe that this web is here to help… Sometimes this belief falters, falters a lot sometimes particularly when it comes to belief in myself, but deep down inside of me it exists and I think that these little gestures I am taking towards recognition of my spiritual self is my attempt at allowing that belief to grow. And I hope that with a stronger belief in myself, those around me and The Universe I will be able to continue to tackle tough times and do it more gracefully each day.

 Time Together and Puzzles.

I love dark chocolate, I don’t eat a lot, except for around “that time of the month” and then I crave it. It seems to also help me stay more even keel. Green and Black chocolate is the best particularly dark chocolate with cherries, it is so wonderful and well also healthy (as far as chocolate gets at least. If you like dark chocolate, enjoy organics and want to try something a little different, if you haven’t already pick up a bar of Green and Black chocolate.

Chelsea, your hair of strawberry blond is just a memory now,

The way ones hand would get lost in its thickness.

When I knew you were blind,

Bumping your head here and there.

Your one remaining eye, a glaze.

Oozing out, staining your fur.

But you had a heart of gold.

You loved.

And you were loved.

A gentle hand on your neck would guide you.

Strong hands helping you lie down,

Your bones so stiff you found this simple act difficult.

You seemed lost in your world of darkness.

Yet you were always searching, searching for something more.

In your dreams did you find it?

When your legs twitched, your nose wrinkled, did you find it?

Now you are gone.

And at peace.

Resting in a Place we can only imagine.